When Olivia was born (before, really…) I had always dreamed of being a stay at home mom and wife. I decided to stay home after about my second week back at work. Between my heart being broken every time I dropped Olivia off and the anxiety of pumping at work, I just couldn't do it it anymore. I went back for 4 weeks until summer started and that was all I could handle being away from her. My husband and I are both teachers, so when I was off work he was too. It started off great! We are a great team, would trade off. He's a bit more level headed than me, so he'd give me my breaks
I have seen some "You know you're a mom when…" posts floating around and they always make me laugh so I thought I'd make my own. It's titled "Stay at Home Mom Probs". Most of which are just Mom probs, but I just happen to stay home so there you go.
1. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
To the tune of Justin Bieber's "Smile"
You cryyy, I cryyyyy.
Enough said.
2. Phantom cries
This usually happens when No Nap Nancy decides to finally give in, once I go into the other room to "do housework", I end up staring at the monitor every few minutes because I thought I heard her cry.
3. Mobile baby-proofing
When I get the chance to visit other people's houses, who don't have babies, I first politely greet everyone and let them ooh and ahh over the baby. Then it begins, I start picking up all the potentially dangerous items off the floor/Olivia level tables and placing them out of reach. I have been known to wipe a few things down with baby wipes so fast, no one would even notice. I've moved tables out of the way and hidden people's shoes/purses without even giving it a second thought. I should work on moving all these things back to their original places though, sorry everyone!
4. Hold it, right there!
All I can say about this one is, I'm glad I had the opportunity to teach for 3 years before I stayed home with a baby. Potty breaks. Someone needs to write this in one of those "oh so helpful" pregnancy/mom books. You must hold it unless you can go super fast or you want a child climbing up your leg. Yes, I went there.
5. "Oh, Tootles!"
You will know all of her favorite shows by heart. No, not just the names of the characters. The actual words, to. every. song/most dialogue. Embarrassing? Maybe. I'm okay with it. Olivia doesn't really watch much TV but we have certain Mickey's that she watches when desperate times call for desperate measures.
6. Sniffing booties
Just my child, don't worry. Something I thought I would never do. Necessary.
7. Shame goes out the window
From breastfeeding in public, singing to your crying child in public, dancing behind the camera to get her to crack a smile, spit up covered clothes usually not on purpose, dirty diapers in purse when no trashcan is available, and the list goes on. You name it, I probably have no shame about it.
8. Baby bench-pressing
I have bigger arm muscles now than I ever did while lifting weights. Thank you, Olivia.
9. Words ending in "s"
Now, I'm not sure where this came from and it should probably go in the "no shame" category, but I tend to talk to Olivia and normal sized humans on accident with baby talk and putting an "s" on the end of my words.
Exhibit A: "Come here's Olivias, you sweets sweets babys."
I mean, what is that?
10. Roller coaster ride
The highest of highs and the lowest of lows can happen within minutes of each other. Luckily, there's definitely more highs than lows! That's why people like roller coasters, right? ;)
That concludes today's installment of "Stay at Home Mom Probs". Hopefully I can get back into this blogging thing because, seriously, it's been over a year. Embarrassing. See ya next time!
